I've been into the woo-woo stuff for years. I've dabbled in crystals, tarot cards, spiritualists, psychics and mediums, ghosts...you name it and I'm open to learn about it. So last week when the opportunity to attend a channeler presented itself, I thought, 'why not?' Off I went.
In the basement of a historical home in Denver's Governor's District was a cute office space lit with candles and incense and earth-toned walls. Although small, twelve of us fit perfectly in the main room. Out came a petite gray-haired woman with a New York accent, our hostess for the night. She explained that she channeled spirit guides and spoke in their light language. I nodded, sipped my water, unwrapped a Hershey's kiss (I'd secretly pocketed a handful when I entered), and prepared to be open-minded.
She started by talking about love and shedding our stories of what we believe to be true. This resonated with me as someone who's studied self-awareness for over a decade. I am reading on the subject of perceptions and universal connection all of the time. I honestly believe that we can tell ourselves a story so many times that it becomes somewhat skewed and that the truth lies between the lines.
As I'm nodding and sitting there, thinking I'm giving off a peaceful vibe as I allow the Herhey's kiss to melt in my mouth, she spins her head toward me and says, "why are you here?"
My eyes probably bugged out a bit at being put on the spot amidst twelve strangers, but I answered, "I'm looking for clarity, it's been a confusing twelve months."
She rolls up to me (she had a stool with wheels), stares at me and starts pulling at her shirt. One hand yanked at her shoulder while the other yanked at her mid-section, and she says, "You are chaos, you are being ripped apart by everyone in your life, you are bouncing from here to there like a person caught in a tornado, why is this happening to you? This is how I see your energy--chaos."
By now I've swallowed the chocolate and am sitting at attention. The rest of the room fades into the background as I stare at this petite older woman who is suddenly pulling at herself as if trying to get free of a net.
And I wanted to cry.
She was right.
She goes on to say, "What is that you want? Why don't you know? You need to get still. You need to be courageous. You need to become the eye of the storm. You need stillness. You have too much responsibility on your shoulders, what can you let go of? You need to let go to find the clarity you seek."
All of those books I'd been reading, all of the practice I've done, all of the years of study where I'd truly believed I'd made progress and had gotten in touch with my soul went out the window. I become agitated. I said, "I can't let go."
I'm a single mom, a solo-preneur, with two kids in college and a mortgage! What exactly am I supposed to let go of exactly? Responsibilities are responsibilities, right?
She looked at me with piercing, knowing eyes and said, "You can but you need to be courageous."
What the hell are we talking about? I'm thinking. How am I not courageous? I'm a fucking warrior!
But maybe I'm not? Maybe I've been telling myself a story of how I am and what is and what is not?
What truth lies between the lines of my story that I haven't acknowledged?
She then wheeled over to another woman and I--as quietly as possible--unwrapped another Hershey's Kiss and plopped it in my mouth. My hand was shaking. I'd said I wanted clarity but was actually more confused. I'd gone there feeling peaceful and happy, excited to try something new. I'd thought I presented a laid back vibe--certainly not one of CHAOS.
Out of the blue she starts speaking in the 'light language' of the angels and (in translation) talking of peace and our stories and of love and connection. Soon the ninety minutes are over and I'm one of the last to leave. She grabs my arms before I can hug her goodbye, looks me in the eye, and says, "you need to get quiet and ask yourself what it is you really want---not what you tell people you want, or what you've told yourself you want, or what you think others want to hear, but what you really want, until then there will be chaos."
Well, fuck. That's not what I wanted to hear!
And then she slipped me her business card as if to silently say, "you really need a lot of work, lady." (she gave no one else a business card...I know, I'd been observing as I prepared to leave.)
Maybe I don't know myself as well as I thought. Perhaps I do give off an energy I'm not aware of even when I'm feeling peaceful and open-minded. Maybe this is why people react the way they do to me sometimes that leaves me confused.
Maybe she told me exactly what I needed to hear--the truth between the lines of the story I have created for myself.
Do you know what YOU really want your life to look like? Not the story you tell others, but the secret daydreams of your soul. Are you brave enough to look inside, to get quiet, and to embrace your truth?
I think I am--I thought I was--I guess I need to get clear on what dwells in the silence. Perhaps there is more exploration to do.
And, no, I'm not going to her for a personal reading. I tucked her card away and will think on what she says, but the whole 'light language' chatter threw me off a bit. I cannot deny, however, that she shook me up! And, sometimes, we all need to be shaken a bit out of our comfort zone.
Amber Lea Easton is a multi-published author of romantic thrillers, contemporary romance, women's fiction, and nonfiction. She also writes five different blogs, works as a professional editor and author coach, creates a line of inspirational journals, volunteers for children's literacy, and advocates for suicide awareness. In addition, she is the mother of two extraordinary human beings who lives in a small cabin high in the Rocky Mountains where she is completely aware of how lucky she is. To find out more about her books, please visit http://www.amberleaeaston.com.