About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Monday, February 1, 2016

How Did I Get Here? This Is Not My Life #MondayMotivation #Inspiration

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Talking Heads "Once in a Lifetime" (Same as it ever was) 


There are moments when I'm consumed with the "how the hell did this become my life" feeling. I look around at my reality and it doesn't mesh with what I'd imagined it would be twenty years ago. 

Whose house is this? Who is that staring back at me from the mirror? Whose car is that in the driveway? 

Last night I was watching Good Wife and a scene from the program made me cry because it struck me with my own inner feelings and fears. Alicia, the main character, broke down saying that she didn't recognize her life--no one to trust, no joy, a routine that didn't suit her, grown children she no longer even knew if she liked, a job that she seemed to be failing at, trapped in a home she resented, and a love lost. Raw emotion. Intense honesty. 

Same as it ever was...

How did I get to this point in life? When I look at young moms with their little kids and handsome husbands, I feel a pang of envy. That used to be me, I think. I used to have all of that. I loved it--don't regret one minute. But then what happened? How did I get here, to this moment with everything unraveling and in tatters at my feet?

When I get sad about all the detours my life path has taken, when those moments of overwhelm strike me, I remember that this is all temporary. Every second is fleeting. People come and go like the ebb and flow of the ocean. What I think of as a great burden today will seem like nothing in ten years, maybe I won't even remember it. Every situation is fluid. Our lives are in perpetual change. 

Imagine yourself as an eighty year-old and write your current self a letter. Sit down, imagine being an elderly person and write yourself a letter starting with, "Don't worry..." Imagine being that eighty year-old looking back on life and being able to send you a note telling you about all the great things that are going to happen. Be a time traveler in your own life! Allow your future self to intervene, to give you that thumbs up, and tell you, "Hey, we make it and it was an amazing journey." You will see how far you have yet to go, that these setbacks can be overcome, and that you can master your future. 

No, this may not be where you want to be right now, but the moment is fleeting. You have time. Breathe. Put whatever stresses you have in your life into proper perspective. Even if they seem insurmountable and crippling...breathe.

Same as it ever was...

In the episode of the Good Wife, she ended the program laughing and realizing she had more friends than she'd assumed. She'd even kissed a really sexy guy--yes! Isn't that how things usually turn out? Right when you're about to say, "screw this", life reminds you of its greatness.

Write yourself that letter from the old you to the current you...imagine the greatness ahead.





Peace to you!
Amber Lea Easton
http://www.amberleaeaston.com 


Amber Lea Easton is a multi-published author of romantic thrillers, contemporary romance, women's fiction, and nonfiction. She also writes five different blogs, volunteers for children's literacy, and advocates for suicide awareness. In addition, she is a professional editor and mother of two extraordinary human beings. She currently lives in a small cabin high in the Rocky Mountains where she is completely aware of how lucky she is. To find out more about her books, please visit http://www.amberleaeaston.com


2 comments:

  1. OMG, I love that song and think about it often. Where is that large automobile? I really hope you don't feel like your life is in tatters, though, you have accomplished so much!

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    1. Thank you for saying that. I do feel like things have really unraveled in this past year, though, despite my professional accomplishments. There have been health issues, personal losses, added financial strains, and the weight of doing it alone has created a crack in my go-get-em attitude. I wrote the letter, though, from my eighty year old self to my forty-something self and it DID re-energize me and help me refocus on the fact that all this is a drop in the bucket of time.

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