About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Don't Get Lost in the Illusion of 'Busy"

I've started to cringe when I hear a friend or colleague use the word 'busy' as if it is a badge of honor. It's not. I have yet to meet someone without any obligations or a long to-do list. To me, when I hear someone say they're busy, it's as if they think others around them aren't. Or perhaps they feel that their schedule is more important than yours.

Here's a reality check: if you're overwhelmed by your schedule, you aren't busy--you're failing at time management and prioritizing. That's the truth. I know multi-millionaires who run their own companies with many people vying for their time. Not one of them ever use the word 'busy.' Ever. Not the ones I know anyway. Why do you think that is? They are obviously juggling many different priorities, yet when a friend or colleague needs them, they're right there. If a client calls while they're in the middle of another project, they answer and say, "Sure, I've got time. What do you need?"

I've heard this with my own ears as a friend to many well-off individuals. I believe that their lack of the word busy from their vocabularies has contributed to their success. They simply take one task at a time and make it happen without uttering excuses.

They say things like, "business is good" rather than "I'm so busy." Can you hear the difference between the two phrases? One sounds positive, the other sounds overwhelmed.

I'm not a multi-millionaire, but I do run my own business--three in fact. I have deadlines constantly on top of family life where I'm an only parent, yet I don't tell people that "I'm too busy" for them. I make time. I prioritize. If a new client needs me to fit in a project, I do it. If a friend wants to get a drink with me sometime, I go. Do I feel overwhelmed? No, I don't. Why? Because I manage my time well.

What I've come to observe from the frazzled ones complaining about being too busy is that they are usually making an excuse for something. Maybe they really don't want to go out to dinner with you--just because they don't. Maybe they don't want to do that extra step to market their product simply because it feels too daunting to them or would require learning something new. Maybe they don't want to write at night after the kids have gone to sleep because they want to catch up on their DVR shows. Maybe they don't want to take that hour a day to exercise because they would rather sleep in or peruse the internet over coffee.

No one is ever "too busy." It's an excuse. Sometimes it's even a lie.

If you're one of those who is always muttering about being busy, take a good look at your time management and priorities. No one is so important that they can't turn off their phone for a few hours or exercise or talk to an old friend. If you're constantly feeling overwhelmed, perhaps it has less to do with being busy and more to do with being unhappy with what it is you're doing.

What I need you to realize is that whenever you tell someone that you're too busy for them--whether it's a family member, friend, colleague, or client--you diminish that relationship. You have just told someone that they aren't worth your effort. Is that the impression you want to give?

Don't get caught up in being "busy"--it honestly isn't impressive. There's a saying--and I can't remember the author so forgive me for paraphrasing--that goes, "work hard in silence and let success be your noise."

Amber Lea Easton is a multi-published author of romantic thrillers, contemporary romance, women's fiction, and nonfiction. In addition, she is a professional editor and mother of two extraordinary human beings. She currently lives in a small cabin high in the Rocky Mountains where she is completely aware of how lucky she is. To find out more about her books, please visit http://www.amberleaeaston.com.

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