I think my life has been in a constant state of flux for the past twenty-five years or so. Isn't that simply what happens when we're growing as human beings, taking chances, and living life to the best of our abilities? I've always believed that change should scare us--should challenge us--and, if it doesn't, perhaps we're not dreaming big enough.
At least that's how it's been for me. I've always been a restless soul, a dreamer who wanted more than the status quo. In high school and college, I embraced being wild. I loved shocking people and riding the adrenaline of doing things I knew broke the rules.
Some called me an idealist...others warned me to settle down...but I always had my eye on the bigger picture. What's beyond the horizon? my heart would whisper. What am I fully capable of achieving, doing, seeing?
In my twenties, I took jobs across the country, moved with whatever would fit in my car, and figured it would all work out as intended. I ended up marrying a man with the same reckless nature and that suited me just fine.
Life threw me a few punches that took my breath away and brought me to my knees, this is true, but I always managed to get back up and swing back.
Someone I used to know accused me of loving living on the edge, of feeding off chaos. I took it as a compliment.
Stagnency would kill me. I invite the rumbles of change and am excited to see where I end up a year from now. My youngest child is a senior in high school, my daughter is a sophomore in college, and I'm seeing clearly that nothing stays the same for long. As a widow, the idea of an empty nest brings to mind some what-ifs--but now more than that, it makes me realize I'm going to be able to be fully 'me' again in all my glorious wildness.
I read books about expats living in Caribbean islands or Central American countries. I watch International House Hunters--always paying close attention to relocating pets. I don't know if I'll move, but I am excited by the knowledge that I'm free to do whatever I choose.
So are you. We all are. In every single moment of each day, we choose how to be.
Yes, being a widow has been challenging, but I've now come to a point in life where I embrace my solo lifestyle. Soon the kids will be off leading their extraordinary lives and I'll be free to be that wild dreamer who's obligated only to herself.
How amazing is that? With every stage of life, we're given the opportunity to shake things up, reinvent ourselves, dream a new dream.
I look forward to the friends I have yet to meet who will be different than the lacrosse moms of the past who sat with me making small talk about our kids. These new people will not know my kids--at least not in the way these others have. They will be wild dreamers embracing the second half of their lives with enthusiasm and seizing adventure when it comes their way. I'm excited to meet them. I'm happy to be at this point in life where I am becoming authentically me again.
As for the energy shifting in the Universe...I plan on riding it like a surfer enjoying the rush.
Amber Lea Easton is a multi-published author of romantic thrillers, contemporary romance, women's fiction, and nonfiction. In addition, she is a professional editor and mother of two extraordinary human beings. She currently lives in a small cabin high in the Rocky Mountains where she is completely aware of how lucky she is. To find out more about her books, please visit http://www.amberleaeaston.com.