About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Back to the Future

Well, an interesting twist occurred last weekend.  I heard from yet another long lost ex-boyfriend from my past.  Lately I feel like Michael J Fox getting into the DeLorean and heading back in time! Woosh! As soon as I heard his voice last Saturday, I was 15 again.
Has anyone seen Marty?
 Thanks to social media sites like Facebook and LinkedIn, I've now reconnected with every single serious boyfriend I've ever had in my life.

Is this a good thing?  Yes.  Why?  Because there are no more what if questions.

Last week, I spoke with BT for four hours.  We laughed.  We caught up on each other's lives.  He'd been the first guy I ever went on a "real" date with...we held hands...ooo...I remember the rush of hormones and the blush of first love.  It was cute. Oh the memories...
Ignore my hair--it was the 80s!
I'll say this:  I've had good taste in men over my lifetime.  All are still good looking.  All are successful.  And all sought me out now that they're in their 40s...mid life crisis?  Am I the one that got away?!  God, no, I'm sure not.  Definitely NOT.  LOL  It's all simply fun...a completion of the circle.

Maybe Facebook isn't the black hole of humanity, after all. (jury's still out...) 

I admit I'm more sentimental than some people and I've thought about each of them from time to time.  Perhaps it will be a song that triggers a memory or a random conversation about high school or college.  Usually when I think of them, I smile and shake my head over the trouble we'd get ourselves into...and out of.

These boys who are now men shaped my current expectations actually.  Like I said, I had good taste.  They were all good looking, smart, driven, funny, kind and amazing human beings.  Perhaps the reason they've all drifted back into my awareness in a casual way is to remind me not to settle for less than that.    

My Sean
Someone asked me if I look at any of them as the "ones who got away".  Maybe I once did--long ago--but the truth is that we all travel the paths we are meant to go.  They all had other loves--greater loves, significant loves--women who shaped their lives and brought them joy..and, in some cases, still do.  Some are married--one is also a widower--with families, successful careers and lives much different than the one I lead.

And I had Sean--I wouldn't trade my marriage or my late husband for anything.

We all lived our lives as we intended with some detours along the way.  Hundreds of miles and decades of life experience separate us now. We aren't the same people we once were, yet it's amazing how we can still connect on a level that's often challenging to do with someone new.  Ex-boyfriend or old friend alike--there's simply something special about reconnecting with people who "knew me when".

When speaking with BT the other day, I couldn't believe we hadn't seen or spoken to each other in decades because we instantly started laughing and talking like we were the closest of friends.  He lit me up...still...after all these years.  Do you know how precious that is to find in a friend?

I don't believe in coincidence, never have, as I've mentioned many times in this blog.  Right now I've been having some issues (uh-hem) in the dating world.  I've encountered men who have been sub-par compared to these men from my past.  Since dating again, I've compromised on certain "criteria", for lack of a better word, because of my age, my perceived baggage or scars, or simply loneliness that comes from time to time.  That's wrong.  I don't need to settle for less than what I've had--ever. That's what reconnecting with the exes has done for me...reminded me that the bar is indeed high.

I've shared some of my dating snafus with my exes--who assure me that it's not me, it IS the men I've been meeting.  Ha!  It's always good to know who has my back, even after all these years.

So--BT, JB, WL--thank you for reconnecting out of the blue,  thank you for being the brilliant boys that you were, thank you for being so much fun that I smile whenever I think of you and thank you for reminding me that I deserve nothing less in the here and now.

3 comments:

  1. What a sweet post! I just found out one of my first bf had passed away. I hadn't spoken to him since we broke up over 30 years ago, but I'm able to look back and see what his life had become.

    Best of luck in the dating scene!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Amber,
    I am enjoying your blog, so I nominated you for the Leibster Award! I was just nominated, and it is a fun way for people to get to know you and your blog. Feel free to check out my blog to see how it works, and of course, you don't have to participate if you don't want to :)
    Best wishes to you,
    James A. West
    http://jamesawest.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. I found your great blog through the WLC Blog Follows on the World Literary Cafe! Great to connect!
    @JLenniDorner

    Now I have "Going Back in Time" stuck in my head...

    ReplyDelete