|Has anyone seen Marty?|
Is this a good thing? Yes. Why? Because there are no more what if questions.
Last week, I spoke with BT for four hours. We laughed. We caught up on each other's lives. He'd been the first guy I ever went on a "real" date with...we held hands...ooo...I remember the rush of hormones and the blush of first love. It was cute. Oh the memories...
|Ignore my hair--it was the 80s!|
Maybe Facebook isn't the black hole of humanity, after all. (jury's still out...)
I admit I'm more sentimental than some people and I've thought about each of them from time to time. Perhaps it will be a song that triggers a memory or a random conversation about high school or college. Usually when I think of them, I smile and shake my head over the trouble we'd get ourselves into...and out of.
These boys who are now men shaped my current expectations actually. Like I said, I had good taste. They were all good looking, smart, driven, funny, kind and amazing human beings. Perhaps the reason they've all drifted back into my awareness in a casual way is to remind me not to settle for less than that.
And I had Sean--I wouldn't trade my marriage or my late husband for anything.
We all lived our lives as we intended with some detours along the way. Hundreds of miles and decades of life experience separate us now. We aren't the same people we once were, yet it's amazing how we can still connect on a level that's often challenging to do with someone new. Ex-boyfriend or old friend alike--there's simply something special about reconnecting with people who "knew me when".
When speaking with BT the other day, I couldn't believe we hadn't seen or spoken to each other in decades because we instantly started laughing and talking like we were the closest of friends. He lit me up...still...after all these years. Do you know how precious that is to find in a friend?
I don't believe in coincidence, never have, as I've mentioned many times in this blog. Right now I've been having some issues (uh-hem) in the dating world. I've encountered men who have been sub-par compared to these men from my past. Since dating again, I've compromised on certain "criteria", for lack of a better word, because of my age, my perceived baggage or scars, or simply loneliness that comes from time to time. That's wrong. I don't need to settle for less than what I've had--ever. That's what reconnecting with the exes has done for me...reminded me that the bar is indeed high.
I've shared some of my dating snafus with my exes--who assure me that it's not me, it IS the men I've been meeting. Ha! It's always good to know who has my back, even after all these years.
So--BT, JB, WL--thank you for reconnecting out of the blue, thank you for being the brilliant boys that you were, thank you for being so much fun that I smile whenever I think of you and thank you for reminding me that I deserve nothing less in the here and now.