About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Friday, April 1, 2011

SPEED WRITER...NOT SO MUCH


Please welcome my friend and author Rhiannon Ellis as my guest blogger today.  Not only is she witty and brilliant, she is also the talented author of two romance novels, Bonded in Brazil and Dark Wolf Protector. 

On April 8th, Rhiannon will be giving a free e-book of either Bonded in Brazil or Dark Wolf Protector to 4 lucky commenters.  Just make sure to leave your email address in the comments below this blog post so she can get in touch with you. Happy reading! 
 Romance Author, Rhiannon Ellis.

SPEED WRITER...NOT SO MUCH
A friend recently tweeted that she'd finished a novella she'd been working on. At first, I was all YAY! Go You! Then, I realized she'd only been working on it for, maybe, two weeks.

HOLY SPEED-WRITER BATMAN! MY HERO!

I asked how she did it so I could emulate and be a speed writer, too. Just. Like. Her.

Friend’s advice: Ignore everyone until they get it and go away.

That sounded easy enough. I set off right away to give it a whirl, rubbing my hands together with glee because my speed writer future looked gloriously bright.

I made sure my kids had everything they needed and put on my "Mommy's working and ignoring you" face. Here's what happened:

1. My son locates a bottle of lotion in a bathroom drawer. He promptly squeezes out half the contents and rubs it in his hair.

There’s too much lotion to simply wipe off so I have no choice but to proclaim ten in the morning bath time. I get that handled and resettle the kids.

2. Back to writing. Darling daughter calls me from the hallway, a hint of delight in her voice telling me her brother is being naughty and she can't wait to see him get in trouble. Darling son had, apparently, snatched the coffee container from kitchen counter and dumped all the grounds onto the carpet outside his bedroom. I find him tossing fistfuls gleefully into the air.

I have no choice but to pause writing again and vacuum. I also have to wipe son down to make sure no coffee grounds remain on him, scared that they'll somehow soak into his skin and he'll be awake for 4 1/2 days.

3. Back to writing. Son (yes, him again) breaks the rule of not opening sliding glass door. Sliding glass door does not shut/latch properly without extreme effort and it's Arctic-cold outside. Both kids are joyous--they're using their fingers to dig in the snow on the deck and slide mini icebergs into the house.

I put on my freak-out face because we'd gone over this sliding glass door nonsense not even 24 hours prior. After both kids have been sufficiently lectured and punished, I spend a frustrating amount of time attempting to latch the door while sliding on the wet floor. I almost kill myself at one point so I decide drying the floor first would be best.

4. Floor dry, sliding glass door latched, I sit back down. The next hour was full of the worst kind of mental torture a writer can endure. "Mommy, Bo hit me." "Mommy, I'm thirsty." "Mommy, I'm bored." "Mommy...!"

By this point my lips are unexplainably numb, I'm drooling, and I've developed a nervous twitch in my left eye. I give up on writing and announce to my children that Mommy is going to vacuum.

The vacuum cleaner is like performing an exorcism. I plug it in, flip the switch, and the precious little heathens sit on the couch in blissful silence as I electronically suck the sanity back into the house.

It took three hours to lose sight of my speed writing dream. Maybe I'll try again in a couple years. Until then, call me slow poke.

Lesson #1: What works for one writer does not necessarily work for another.
Lesson #2: My kids are on a mission to drive me insane.
Lesson #3: Moms, especially those who write, are saints.

Bio: Rhiannon Ellis is a romance author who lives in Wisconsin with her husband and their two children. She is also the proud stepmom of a preteen. When Rhiannon isn't writing, cleaning house or chasing her kids around, she can most often be found curled up with her e-reader, taking pleasure in one of the many genres she loves. She and her husband enjoy visiting casinos, are avid followers of politics, and are devoted fans of Wisconsin's basketball team--the Milwaukee Bucks.

3 comments:

  1. lol So funny! What a great post. :)
    I know exactly how you feel. Wait until your darling babes discover chocolate chip ice cream, abandoned in its pathetic paper box on a couch...all night, melts. The couch smelled like a corpse all the way down to its wooden skelton.

    Your kids sound adorable! I wish I could shrink all of mine, and I haven't even told you what they did with cheese and syrup...

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  2. Hahaha! Nora, your house sounds like mine. We have our share of food disasters here, too. I definitely relate to your Twitter name--AlmostSaneLady. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  3. Awesome post I remember that time of my life as being great. I am sure you don't feel that way now but you will someday. Thank you for bring up fond memories for me. I need a pick me up today

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