About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Monday, September 13, 2010

The chase

For the past six weeks, I have been dealing with some health issues that made me scrutinize my lifestyle with brutal honesty.  When I mentioned to my doctor that I get disgusted with myself for my self-sabotaging ways, she told me a story about a diabetic she met during her residency.  This man had endured multiple amputations that ultimately resulted in the loss of both legs.  Following the final amputation that took his legs off at the pelvis, he remained optimistic.  He told her that only death is final, until then any condition can be changed.

How true.  Only death is absolute; until that point we all have choices about how we live and how we adapt.  It's easy to get stuck in a routine of habit, thinking and being.  I don't think routine is bad, but I do believe it's healthy to shake it up every now and then.  Re-evaluate.  Adjust.  Open your mind. Be spontaneous.  Reject absolutes.   

For me, the most difficult aspect of change is shaking off old perceptions.  Former ideas of who I am, what I believe, what I do, what I eat or what I want no longer fit.  Letting those ideas slip through my fingers is scary.  It's like stripping naked in front of a new lover for the first time...exciting yet tinged with uncertainty.

As long as I am still breathing, my heart is beating and my mind is thinking, then I am free to choose what path I take.  Whether I become a habitual granola eater or tequila shooter (or both), that is my choice.  The important thing is that I am free to choose again and again until death catches up with me.  

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