Someday. The word bugs me. Someday I'll hike up Machu Pichu. Someday I'll move to Hawaii. Someday I'll get my athletic body back. Someday I'll get a clue as to what the hell it is I'm doing. Someday is just another word for maybe, which we all know really means it's probably not gonna happen.
When I hear myself saying it, I know I am putting off making a plan. It's easy to focus on the mythical 'someday' and avoid making a commitment to change. Well, I don't want to wait for 'someday'. Waiting for 'someday' is a good way to go insane and I'm already on a slippery slope.
I am great at excuse making. In fact, in high school, the freshmen had to write little things about the graduating seniors. One of my freshman friends wrote that I was great at excuse making. My creative mind came up with some brilliant excuses, usually to get myself and friends out of some type of trouble. Over the course of time, however, my excuse making has been my biggest obstacle to living life to the fullest.
Yes, sometimes excuses are actually reasons. Sean's death is a reason for the grief the kids and I experienced. His traumatic exit from our lives caused us all a lot of anxiety and has taken a lot of recovery time. It is not an excuse. It is a reason. But using the fact that I'm not a size 8 right now to avoid going to the water park with the kids is ridiculous. That is an excuse to avoid living in the now.
What have you been putting off for 'someday'? What if 'someday' never comes and you realize that you have wasted life stuck in limbo? What if waiting for 'someday' is a complete waste of your valuable time?
I wish I could promise that I'll step away from the computer and never use the word again; but I can't. I will. We all will. But I hope that now whenever I say it I'll catch myself and revise the statement into something more proactive. Statements like: I will work every day to get into the best shape of my life. I will move to Hawaii when the kids graduate from high school. Of course I can always change my plan, but at least there will be a plan to change instead of an elusive concept that never had a shape or a true intention behind it.
About Moxie Girl Musings
Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com