About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Flying solo

I have been researching an article on travel packages for single parents and a disturbing trend keeps popping up: single parent travel packages that double as dating trips.  What?  Maybe I don't want that extra baggage, thank you very much. 

As a single mom, I travel often with the kids without giving it much thought except for the expense.  For example, when I took the kids to the Dominican Republic a few years ago I had to pay for two adults and one child at the resort, even though my kids at the time were nine and eight.  I understand that the resort makes more money from adults, but as a single parent I felt screwed.  After all, the room was occupied whether I had two adults and two kids or--as it was--one adult and two kids.  I would be happy to pay a fraction of a second adult price added onto mine, but the fact is that two children under the age of ten do not equal an extra adult plus child.

This scenario happens all of the time, not just in the Dominican Republic.  So I started searching for travel packages geared toward single parents for my article and was irked to find that they are either non-existent or revolve around dating.  Family packages (as in two adults/two plus kids)?  Yep.  Scuba diving packages?  Yep.  Single parent travel packages?  Not unless you want to participate in the dating game.  

In a world where the majority of marriages end in divorce and widows/widowers are not uncommon, why is it that society still thinks we need to be paired up like we're boarding Noah's Ark?  

My friend Martha spent this past week in Vegas and called to tell me that she had a new understanding of what it meant to be a single mom.  Although she is not a single parent, her husband was attending classes all day while she and her two children were left on their own.  She decided to take advantage of a discounted show ticket offer by going on an hour excursion to a new resort.  She was denied access to the trip because she was told that she and her two children were not a family and that the discounts were for families only.  

Being Martha (who is quite ballsy--in a good way), she decided to experiment by telling the woman at the kiosk that she was a widowed mom.  Still denied.  She then went to other kiosks with the same story to see what would happen.  She was repeatedly turned away with the explanation that single parent households did not qualify as a family.  

The last time I checked my kids and I are a family.  The definition of family is: 1.) A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children. 2.) Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside in the same dwelling place

So what am I as a widowed mom to do when I want to travel?  Suck it up and pay the extra costs even though I am living on one income instead of two while stretching it to pay for three people?  Go on a single parent dating trip to appease the status-quo?  For single parents who want to travel with their children, there need to be options that don't penalize us for being single by charging extra costs or that allow us to travel without adding the extra pressure of finding a date.  Ugh.  That sounds exhausting.  

Single parent households are families.  Flying solo, being comfortable alone, is a talent that some people cannot embrace and a skill most of us didn't anticipate acquiring.  I did not ask to be widowed, but that is my reality.  My divorced friends didn't anticipate being divorced when they said "I do", but that is their reality.  Being a single parent doesn't mean that I need to sacrifice exposing my children to the world. 

Have passport, will travel.  With the kids, you ask?  You betcha.  They have passports, too.  
Us arriving in the Dominican Republic after 12 hours of traveling.  It was well worth the journey; then again, isn't the journey what it's all about?  


  1. So where IS common sense anymore?? Anyone?

    Just yesterday at the grocery store the register rang up thirty cents more for an item. "Oh, well" was the reaction by the checker. So I took in that reaction with a twisted, idiotic sort of humor, loaded my groceries in the back of my SUV, and then returned with receipt in hand and a little bounce to the step to retrieve my measly change by a regular instead.
    Yep, it made me feel SINGLE out there in the wilds of my own hometown...in common sense! Bilking me for thirty cents. Rude. But not worth being called a you-know-what to claim it from the first you-know who.


  2. Just imagine how that 30 cents adds up, though! Last Tuesday I was at Red Rocks buying a beer--yep, a beer--and was short changed by 25 cents on the first one. There was a long line so I let it go. Then on the 2nd beer I was short-changed by 50 cents! There are 10,000 people at Red Rocks during a sold out show--so calculate how much those concession people were raking in by the end of the night by just shorting a quarter here and a quarter there! Maybe I should get a part-time job at Red Rocks! LOL.
    Whatever. The beer was cold, the weather was great, and I was having fun so...there ya go. I shouldn't try to add that up because then I'll get angry.
    Glad you got your 30 cents back!