About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The big picture

When I was a kid, I used to ride my horse Tango into the fields and daydream about the fabulous adult life ahead of me.  I would tie Tango up to a tree, lie on the ground and watch clouds pass through a large South Dakota blue sky.  I dreamed I would travel, write stories, fall in love, make friends from all over the world and live a life of adventure.

Those dreams came true.

I have traveled around the world, but have a burning desire to see more, do more, experience more and meet more friends from far away places.  And I will.  I am as sure of that now as I was when I daydreamed beneath that tree.

What I didn't know was that I would fall in love more than once in my life.  As that girl lying beneath the tree, I dreamed of Mr. Right and happily ever after.  I didn't yet understand the heart's capacity for all-consuming love, didn't yet comprehend that there would be more than one Mr. Right, or understand that love comes in many forms. Life enlightened me. I have had three great loves so far on my journey. Each one has been pivotal in shaping who I am and forever changed my heart.  I have no doubt that there will be another big love affair or two in my future.

The girl who used to write stories in spiral-bound notebooks at age nine is now writing stories on a computer at age forty-two.  Articles are just as important to me as my latest manuscript.  After all, I am a writer and I'm happy as long as I'm writing.  I am sure that girl beneath the tree would give me a thumbs up at that.

Tragedy intervenes over the course of a lifetime; but I now see that each tear, each heart-wrenching sob, each moment of desperation has transformed my dreams rather than destroyed them.

Tango passed away when I was in college;  but I remember the feel of his mane beneath my fingertips, the exhilaration of riding him over the plains with my hair flying in my face and the joy of him nudging me with his soft nose when I would lie in the grass daydreaming too long.  I may have moved far from that place, but I am still that girl who rode that horse.

Dreams don't die.  Dreams evolve.  Yes, I have traveled the world, made friends from far away places, loved some unforgettable men, and written some great stories; but I am still that girl who dreamed big dreams...and still does.  The only difference is that now my dreams are even bigger than that blue South Dakota sky.

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