About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Addicted to ranting

The song 'Addicted to Love' keeps going through my mind lately as I hear about one celebrity after another going into sex rehab.  Yes, I think people can be addicted to sex.  I think people can be addicted to anything. What I don't believe in is using an addiction as an excuse for bad behavior.

Thanks to Tiger and Jesse cheaters across the world now have sex addiction as an excuse for infidelity.  Screw that.  True addicts need help; there's no question about that.  If either of these two is being authentic, which I doubt, then I hope they recover with intense therapy.  What bothers me is that these high profile 'addicts' are using the word lightly.  They behave badly and toss the word addiction out as an excuse.

I have nothing but compassion for those who struggle with addiction.  I was married to an addict.  Sean battled alcoholism our entire marriage on top of being bi-polar.  I saw first hand the battle involved with someone who truly wanted to break free of addiction.  It isn't a pretty sight.  And it wasn't a pretty life.  But I never allowed him to use his addiction as an excuse for being an ass.

When I see celebrities tossing the word addict around in an effort to gain sympathy for bad judgment, I am skeptical.  When Tiger needed to spend over $100,000 to remodel his suite at the rehab center, a red flag went up.  When Jesse James abruptly left sex rehab because Sandra wouldn't take his call, that also screamed, "I'm here because my PR guys thought it would look good" rather than "I need help no matter what the cost."  Is that what someone does when they truly need help or want help with an addiction?   Granted, I'm not a celebrity with a celebrity bank account; but I have been around addiction long enough to be skeptical at that behavior.

When a guy is an ass, he's an ass.  A cheater is a cheater.  A liar is a liar.  Let's just call it like it is regardless of the fame or the money.

What are our children learning when they see high profile people behaving badly and getting away with it?  Not just children, but people in general think this is a 'way out' of a sticky situation. Just slap a label on it, cry, cross your fingers and hope people let you off the hook.

Addiction is a serious problem people face.  It is not an excuse.  It is not a word to be thrown around to try to save your reputation.  Some people are addicted to sex--no question.  Then again, there are some people who simply like to use their fame to have sex with anyone because it boosts their egos.  By trivializing it with the latest celebrity rehab fad, we are encouraging people who are not ill to exploit a serious problem for their own benefit.  That's wrong.

(And, by the way, this is an editorial. If you don't like it, don't read it.  I have nothing but compassion for true addicts of any kind.  In a comment to this post earlier tonight, I was accused of being co-dependent for standing by my husband during his struggle to remain sober (which he did for years at a time).  I did not encourage any addictive behavior with Sean.  Did I try to protect him? Yes, while he was in rehab I covered for his where-abouts to protect our family's privacy.  I fought like hell along side him on his quest for sobriety because I took my vows 'in sickness and in health' seriously.  He ended up committing suicide because (I feel) he was simply worn out by the struggle and that is a tragedy I relive every day of my life. And none of that was my fault--not his addiction and not his death.  Any comments to the contrary say more about you than me. Peace.)