About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Friday, January 22, 2010

Out of Bounds

People I used to know growing up are surprised that I am no longer the shy, quiet girl who gave a damn about what people thought of her.  I am not that person anymore, nor do I want to be.

Today I am loud when I want to be and quiet when I need to be.  I say what I mean.  I cross lines that I am not even aware of crossing.  I am passionate about people and learning.  I only act from good intent so am taken aback when people are offended by what I say--or what I write.

I say, "lighten up"!  Life is too short to worry if I jokingly describe myself as a born again virgin, do one too many shots of Tuaca or tell a good looking man that he is, without a doubt, good looking.  Are these things really so bad?  Nah.  I can think of many worse things I could say or do or be.  Want to test me?

I have lived through four decades of my life.  Four decades.  Of course I have grown, adapted, altered my viewpoints and changed my personality over the years.  What scares me is the amount of people who haven't.  They sit on the same bar stools that their parents sat on in the same town and criticize those who have dared to live a life of risk, of change, of heart break and of new horizons.

I refuse to be held back by conventions that I think are ridiculous. I don't care if they are the conventions of my youth, my parents, my church or my community.  I enjoy being out of bounds, skiing the trees and venturing into untouched snow.  I alone know when I have veered off the groomed trail of my personal ski mountain into the trees.  I know because I choose to go there.

I do not expect people to understand my choices; more than that, I am not asking for their understanding.    Me being authentic to myself and acting from a place of truth is genuine.  My intent is harmony--and harmless.  If someone chooses to be offended by authenticity, then there isn't much I can do except shrug.  To me, saying what I mean lets people know where I stand and how I feel without any guess work.

The real questions are:  why does that bother someone else?  Why does it make them uncomfortable when I tell them what is truly in my heart?  Why would anyone in their right mind try to make me less than what I am so that they can feel better?

Again I say, "lighten up"!  Enjoy my honesty.  Enjoy my recklessness.  Enjoy my mistakes and successes.  Hell, even enjoy my stumbles and misadventures.  I do.  And if you can't, then ask yourself the above questions and wonder why you're so afraid of going out of bounds.  After that if you still think I'm over-the-top or crossing lines, I say to you---"if you can't handle me, baby, then good riddance."  






7 comments:

  1. All I can say Amber is you go girl and you ROCK!!! I used to be like that too and now "FRANKLY I DONT GIVE A DAMN"! Alot of people think I'm in left field but hey they dont know the things I have experienced or what led me to who I'am and I only have to please myself and God! I do know alot of people are jealous of me mostly women and well they can kiss my arse Haha! I used to ask myself whats wrong with me why am I getting these reactions from people but after much soul searching and well reading self help books I figured out I'am who I'am! Haha

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  2. Some might call you...a handful...a pistol...a jerk...a b-...shall I continue the downward spiral of probable popular opinions? Which 'endearing' term do you prefer? It feels GREAT to be alive, doesn't it?! Let the celebrating continue, even if it's a party of one. The rub becomes if everyone becomes a party of one, but then maybe it's just associating with the wrong pathetic crowd comprised of insecure sorts that attempt to pull you down. Who let's these people loose out into the world anyway? I haven't figured that one out yet, or frankly care to address it for that matter. So what does that make ME? No matter. Who's UP for ring toss?
    :-) slt

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  3. "If it pleases you to please God, then you can do as you please." Amber, I just recalled this advice from my Grandmother! She was a pistol too and knew how to light up a room. May the force be with you! BTW, is "Happy Birthday" in order since you mentioned starting your fouth decade?? Congrats! Enjoy your weekend...
    -slt

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  4. No, SLT, when I mention starting my fourth decade, I am referring to the 2010 decade. I am--hold your breath--41. My birthday is coming up in April, but thanks for the congrats anyway. LOL.

    I hope no one calls me a jerk! I am sure I have been called the B-word on more than one occasion, but that has never bothered me. I have a bumper sticker hanging on the bulletin board near my desk that says, "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing." I think it's funny. I don't think I have a party of one going on at all and hope that doesn't happen. As I let people go that no longer fit in my life, I am finding new people who enrich it. I love people too much to be a party of one. Ha.

    I was fortunate to have two grandmothers who were real spit-fires. Both were real characters who didn't take BS from anyone or let anything stop them from doing as they saw fit. When my family talks about them, we usually all end up laughing. That is how I'd like to be remembered one day--as a real spit fire who left them laughing.

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  5. Amber, I'll not age you too quickly then! I suspect it would only be a jerk that could call you one, purely out of jealously that you would enjoy people so much that others would reciprocate and enjoy you back with great heart and enthusiasm. I think you know the type...if you say a cheerful good morning and the response back is, "what's so great about it!?" In 'their' mind, you just made it worse! (Am I beating a dead horse here now?)

    Loved reading of your grandmothers - what spunk! Sounds like they knew how to live life well and to the fullest. You should be very proud of that heritage.

    Enjoy your week! –slt

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  6. I'll never understand ppl's needs to get all up in other ppl's business. I can only assume it's because they have no life to call their own, so they must spend their days thinking and commenting on other ppl's lives. What else could it be??

    I've found that ppl with knee-jerk opinions (not based on anything but their beliefs) are very narrow-minded. I tend to avoid them like the plague.

    NO-ONE has the right to judge another human being! Because NO-ONE'S lived that life but YOU!

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  7. SLT--I DO know the type. LOL. You make me laugh. Often when I read your comments, I wish we were sitting in a an outdoor cafe laughing over a glass of wine together. You fascinate me. Thank you for being a loyal supporter of mine. I greatly appreciate all you have to say.

    Kathryn--You sum things up so perfectly! I admire your way with words, as you know. Anyone reading this MUST check out Kathryn's blog, From the Inside Out. She is one amazing writer! Thanks.

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