About Moxie Girl Musings

Moxie Girl Musings is about starting over from square one after tragedy impacted my young family. It's filled with stories of triumph, struggle, snafus, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes there will be features from other writers that I like and every so often I'll include an original short story, but normally I simply write what's on my mind at the time. Welcome to my unfiltered true-life story as I figure out this thing called life. http://www.amberleaeaston.com

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Soaking Up Some Sense

I have a stubborn streak that I smash up against from time-to-time.  There is no sense in denying it.  Anyone who knows me well, knows how stubborn I can be so let's just call it as it is. My stubbornness fools me into thinking I can handle anything thrown my way...be it remodeling the kitchen, fixing the deck, staining the house or chasing off a bear.  I suppose this could also be classified as delusional, but I'll stick with calling it stubborn.  

Whatever role pops up in the moment, I do my best to improvise my way through it.  But as I stared at water pouring from my laundry room early this morning and soaking the hallway carpet, I realized that there are some roles I am not meant to play.  Plumber is simply beyond my improvisational skill set.

We all play a variety of roles in our lives: mother, daughter, sister, friend, counselor, carpenter, artist, caretaker...just to name a few.  The list of roles is endless, but knowing when to stop adding to the list is the trick.

My friend Zoey is brilliant at delegating the roles of her life. She knows when she needs help and asks for it.  She manages her life on every level by delegating what she knows is either beyond her ability or is a task she simply doesn't want to tackle.  Because of this skill, she is a successful entrepreneur and philanthropist.  

Intellectually, I know there is nothing wrong with asking for help.  So what's my problem?  What am I trying to prove by overextending myself on every level?  Am I trying to prove that I am ridiculous or just plain crazy?  No!  Stop the madness!

As I knelt in inch deep water using all of the dry towels in the house, I had an epiphany.  Digging through the drain trying to solve this problem was the last thing I wanted to do.  Images of God-Only-Knows-What plugging the drainage system popped into my mind as I hauled armfuls of towels from the laundry room.  

I scratched the role of plumber from my list and improvised by picking up the phone.  Finally.  Common sense prevails over stubbornness...at least for now.


  1. "So, what's my problem?" you ask? Your problem left you holding the bag of shared responsibilities; enter coping skills to try and put a band-aid on everything.

    You shouldn't have to be the one stuck sopping up water with your good towels -- HE should be the one doing it while *you* supervise and gripe that he used the good towels. It seems your conscious mind is busy making the things at hand o.k. again; your subconscious is not happy. Keep writing and help allow the conscious and subconscious to meet in the middle again, with time. It's o.k. to call in the Calvery at times of need. Why not have a slush fund to compensate for things that you have had to take on; then imagine *him* calling for the help since he's not there to get his things done...try and depersonalize; you might as well vocalize that you're even having to CALL for him; get some humor out of it...just a thought.


  2. Oh, believe me, I have conversations with "the missing link" more than I'd like to admit. :-) It's all good. The plumbers came, fixed it, problem solved. I do find a lot of humor in my actions...especially when I am toting a drill of some sort.

    I am finding my place of equilibrium. It has taken some time, but I am approaching the meeting place, as you call it. In my post, Leaping from the Edge, I mentioned a new beginning and a big decision. Steps are being taken to redefine this new life of mine and I am very happy with how it's all unfolding.

    Love your comments, slt. :-) Your insights are brilliant. I think I know who you are...but we'll stick with anonymous. It suits the forum.

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  4. Amber, Glad you agree that my identity, which I agree you have probably guessed correctly, is better suited with initials. It allows me a comfort zone to share what I'm really thinking vs. a boring, watered down version that is, in essence what most everyone else gets. Frankly, your brilliance in writing inspires. In some strange way, you are helping me get closer to the edge to leap off along with you. Usually I find it just takes a lot less energy for the proverbial tin man to reach for the oil can, fearing I'll end up in the well beside Timmy.


  5. I love the way you use your words, slt. :-)